Illustration by PJ 2009
In late August, 2001 I had a terrifying experience that I cannot explain away. I've spent many long hours over the years trying to figure out just what happened or to find a logical explanation. This experience happened while I was having a prolonged psychic experience concerning the 9/11 attacks. You can read about that experience here http://paranormal-corner.
So a few weeks before the 9/11 attacks, I went over to a friend’s house to just hang out for a while. I decided I wanted to go on the computer and just surf the web, check my email, etc. However, after I checked my email and surfed the web for a while, I experienced what felt like a sudden jolt. It felt like I was being forced or pulled to somewhere else. Where I have no idea but I was definitely somewhere else and at the same time I was still aware that I was in my friends room. I've been told it sounds like I had an "out of body experience". It did not feel like I was out of my body, it was more like being in two places at the same time.
At first, I was just dazed, a little dizzy and confused, and everything seemed blurry, I had no idea what just happened, it happened so fast. I slowly started becoming aware of everything around me, just like if you were waking up in a place you were not familiar with. As I was "waking up" I also "knew" or "remembered" where I really was. I moved back and forth slowly, being aware of being in both places at once, then I began to sense a connection with another person. Male or female I'm not sure, but it felt more like a female.
I felt panic, fear, and confusion, not mine, but someone’s. I sensed someone, like I was in her head, or we were attached in some way. It was as if I was looking through her eyes, but not able to see. There were others in the room; I could a threat, a terrible threat, like screaming or yelling. I couldn't actually hear words or even sounds for that matter, but it felt like I could, if that makes any sense. I felt what they were doing to her through her it seemed, so I understood clearly what was happening. She was being threatened to do something she didn't want to do. It wasn't necessarily her own life she was worried about, it was more than that, they were threatening others lives if she did not comply, as well as her own. It was a matter of whom and how many, if she did not do what she was told.
Now as all this was going on I am still aware that I am still back at my friend’s house at his computer, but I am also aware of her and what was going on there. I remember wanting so badly to stop it in some way but knowing there was no way to "stop" it. When I say that I think really that's what she was feeling or thinking, but her emotion was so intense that it also felt like it was who I needed to do something. I feared for her and wished I could help her.
The majority of the time I sensed we were one person like I was seeing thru her eyes. She was trying to show me, but also I was with her experiencing it all. But there were times I do remember feeling like we were separated only to get sucked back together again. For short spurts at times I remember not being attached or like I had lost the connection, but only for a few seconds. I don't recall actually having "sight" as in seeing what was going on but what I sensed was enough for me to get a clear picture of what was happening, but in the same sense things were blurred, I couldn't tell you what hair color or eyes, or what someone was wearing, but then again I could. It’s not like I saw it but more like I remembered seeing it. I could probably get really specific if asked. But blind or blurred it’s hard to explain, I just knew, like I know there was a room and a table with a couple of windows like an apartment and nothing much else except maybe a phone and two men. There wasn't much communication to her from them that I can get a clear understanding of. I only felt her panic and fear, she was extremely distraught and didn't know what she could do to get out of her situation. I couldn't really tell you how long this whole experienced lasted only that it felt like an eternity to me.
As the panic and fear intensified, so did our connection, or so it seemed. Things became clearer, I knew what was going on with her, and I but I didn't lose the connection anymore. This part is the hardest part to explain, though everything is hard to explain.
Then it came to the point where she had to act, where she had no other choice but to do something. Not sure exactly how I did it, but I began to do to my friends computer what seemed like what she was doing to her computer. As I was and not familiar with the ins and outs of the actual computer itself, I only knew how to get on the net, check email or write a word doc. Very basic stuff. But somehow on the actual computer I was on back at my friends house I maneuvered myself to some popup windows in the admin section of the computer. How I got there I don't know I don't remember my hands actually doing it or seeing myself doing it. So I'm assuming that during this whole time that I'm with her my own body is reacting in some manner, However I don't know exactly, as the majority of my focus was on her emotional state and not necessarily what her body was doing. Or mine for that matter.
But things on her end had finally escalated to her having to do something. She was in a complete state of panic, which put me in a state of panic as well. I remember things were very clear to me at this point. My focus was directed solely on the computer. Without much thought, I knew what I had to do. Or she knew what she had to do? I was suddenly aware of what it was exactly she was supposed to do for them, and I couldn't really tell you if it was anger that finally helped her make the decision she made or a suggestion on my part.
Suddenly there was not only fear but also determination and a sort of confidence that she had in herself that this was the best decision. So as I sat at the computer, and faster than ever possible for me, I acted. It had to be done fast, it was now or never, it had to be done before they figured out that it wasn't being done the way they wanted, knowing they would find out when it was done, but still knowing it was the best way!
I put in 3 words, then hit OK, then another window popped up. I then put in three more words, and then OK, then another window popped up. Now whether it was a conjoined effort on both of our parts or if it's just what happened on my end. I'm not really sure, But I think the words or codes or whatever were the same.
It was done. There was no going back. I then felt extreme sorrow or sadness, hopelessness and loss, but at the same time a sense of relief, and as quickly as I was jolted to her I was jolted home. Only I "woke up" so to speak, knowing that I was already at my friends, and knowing what I just saw somewhere else too. There was no confusion when the disconnect happened. I woke up to finding myself in hysterics, crying hysterically and screaming. When I say I woke up I mean that in a couple of different ways. I came to this realization of the horror and terror of what was happening with this poor woman and what I just witnessed or saw or felt or however you would describe it. Also knowing I just had a vision or out of body or whatever you would like to call it.
I was suddenly aware that everyone in the room was staring at me, before that I didn't even think about the other people being there. I looked around everyone was staring and one friend was trying to console me. I suddenly realized the horror and terror of it all. I was completely separate of her by now, I was brought back so abruptly, much more than when I went to her. The severity of the separation was shocking to me I think, or and I hate to think of this, but because I was brought back so quick, I don't really know what the final outcome was. Did it work? To her it was a no way win situation. Did she accomplish her goal, was she able to save them, or was she able to stop it? That bothers me more than anything to this day, the not knowing. I'm not sure but I got the feeling she was shot in the head, and that is why the connection was lost so quickly and the major reason why I was so hysterical. While I was still hysterical my boyfriend walked in the room, very confused and upset because no one could tell him what just happened. I don't really remember what happened after that, only that I was in disbelief.
I thought my friend had played a sick joke on me or drugged me; it couldn't have been a joke, how? Do you feel a joke? I couldn't begin to even know how they would have pulled it off, so that was out of the question if it were drugs I would have felt some sort of after affect. I was not asleep so it wasn't a dream and who has dreams that are real like that, even if they feel real in a dream once you wake up you know it was a dream right? Eventually when the trauma wasn't there anymore, and I couldn't come up with any sort of logical explanation and because I just couldn't shake it, any of it, I did a little research and realized I am not the only one, I became a believer and now accept it. I've never heard of a similar story either on the news or in the papers, or by any other accounts. So there is still that question. I just quite questioning the experience, the only thing is I still sometime wonder how it all turned out.
Don’t you?
Stephanie B
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